Praise Report!

“Hi, Nathan, I am Dr. Ruzics, and you have a remarkable history. Your numbers are not compatible with life.”

So began today’s long-awaited appointment with the transplant surgeon at St. Joseph’s Hospital, in Orange. The doctor’s quote underscores the fact that when Nate was wheeled into an emergency room on Sunday night, February 19th, his vital signs (or lack thereof) indicated that he should not have been alive, let alone conscious.

Mom, younger sister and dad joined Nate today for this significant appointment. After two hours of reviewing the whole transplant process, answering questions, discussing options, checking and re-checking Nate’s current condition, the surgeon concluded, “You are a qualified candidate for a kidney transplant”!

Praise God!

After we briefly discussed the numbers of family and friends who have volunteered to be tested as potential donors, along with Nate’s rapid recovery of other vital organs, the surgeon commented that things were moving at “warp speed” for Nate by comparison to most kidney transplant situations.

He encouraged us to develop a strategy to guide our transplant decisions. He also recommended that we limit initial testing to the immediate family. Mom and dad have already been tested. The results that were announced today are that both are compatible donors. Test results from both sisters will be coming in the next few weeks.

We appreciate your prayers! Please continue as we have many more decisions to make in the next several weeks.

Purifier
Some time long ago, a few ladies met to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Malachi 3:3).
One lady decided to visit a silversmith and report to the others what he said about the subject. She went accordingly and without telling him the reason for her visit, she begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her she asked,
"Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?"
"Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmit, "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."
The lady at once saw the beauty and comfort in the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver".
God sees it necessary to put his children into the furnace, but his eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.
Before she left, the lady asked one final question.
"How do you know when the process is complete?"
"That's quite simple", replied the silversmith.
"When I can see my own image in the silver the refining process is finished."

So what is it that makes men and women grow? I would be so bold to say that a lot of it has to do with the fact that God desires growth from us. He wants us to learn how to relate to others, He wants us to learn how to live life for Him, but most importantly He desires us to grow, rather fall into love with Him.

I love this story of the Purifier. I heard it first while I was studying in England and right away I clinged to its truth. When I am faced with dificult circumstances, I often cry out, "How long God". In response I am guided to Joshua. God tells him, "I will never leave you nor forsake you". The thing that I like best is in the next verse, "Be strong and courageous". In the story the silversmith says that it is necessary that he sit and watch the refining process so that the silver won't be damaged. Just like him, God doesn't leave us, especially when we are hurting. And this process of growing and being refined is so that He can see His own image in us.



Later this week, Thursday to be exact, my parents and I are going to meet with the transplant surgeon. Hopefully we will get our results back and maybe there will be a match there. So please pray that the Lord will guide the conversation, that we will get all of our questions answered, and that the transplant process will come quickly.

Happy Tuesday everyone, I hope you were able to get through your Monday. (Alicia, I loved the card you sent dad.) Well I was thinking today about Sunday’s church service. Happy Belated Mother's day to all you moms! Sunday was one of those times at church where you really see how amazing God is. This hit me more while we were worshiping. So I am going to try and relay what I felt through the songs that we sung.

Keri Schulz, an amazing singer/song writer and Biola goalie, led worship along with Todd Proctor. One of the first songs that we sang was Be Near, by Shane & Shane. This song, by the way is one of my favorites. It talks about the desire for God to be near, which is pretty applicable I'd say. While we were singing this song I started crying. I had no idea why. Then I started listening to the lyrics and I saw how this song brings to light just how BIG God is. These are some of the lyrics:
You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but I’m asking to taste...

for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, I need to hear from You

be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good

It is hard sometimes to see how God is either speaking to you or reaching out His hand to give you His personal touch. The way He shrinks himself down to a personal level is what I have been experiencing recently. Nothing is out of reach for Him, even a failed kidney. In Romans, chapter 8 verses 31-39, Paul talks about how nothing can separate us from the love of God. My favorite part is in verse 38, "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love...Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away." Like Paul, I too am convinced that whatever I am going through, whether that is dialysis or a transplant, nothing will not separate me from God's love. Chris Tomlin has a song that we sang that night called Forever. (Uncharted Waters people, remember this from '03). This just further expresses Paul's point. It goes like this:
"Give thanks to the Lord
Our God and King
His love endures forever
For He is good, He is above all things
His love endures forever"

In 1923, a man named Thomas O. Chisholm wrote a hymn that would become one of my favorites. It is called "Great is Thy Faithfulness". And that is just how it goes. I like the last part of the first stanza.
"Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be."

So as I cast all my cares upon Him, I know He will always be on my side. God's character never changes. He is kind of like a diamond in that He has many facets to his character, and sometimes He may choose to show different parts at different times, but as Chisholm said, "As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be".

Two and a half months ago, I was living a seemingly normal healthy life. Then God decided to answer a prayer. It is funny how sometimes it seems God answers prayers almost immediately and then there are times when it takes years. Some of you know that after graduation, I had a hard time getting going in life. It felt as though my prayers were returning to me unanswered. I wouldn’t say that I was experiencing a time of desolation because God was still alive and active in my life. But I did feel tired, both physically and spiritually. It was as though NASA had forgotten to fuel the Space Shuttle. I was willing and ready but I just wasn’t launching.

As I look back at this, a few things are beginning to become a little clearer. It is not necessarily a bad thing that I felt God not doing anything. It just wasn’t the right time. Some of you might be saying, “Nate, what do you mean it wasn’t the right time?” Well, I think God kept Himself “hidden” so that I would learn the importance of seeking after Him more. It really is amazing what you learn when you do what He wants.

Remember how I said that sometimes God takes a long time to answer prayers? Well, as I was seeking Him, I felt as though He was nudging my spirit into a posture of willingness to be used. So in response I prayed that He would use me in any way. Well… I got my answer!!!

I have a lot of time to think during dialysis. One thing that keeps coming back to me is the thought of being used by God to bring glory to him just like a carpenter uses tools to perfect His masterpiece. I know that in someway somehow God is going to use my failed kidney for his glory.

This makes me think on a larger scale. Sometimes when “bad” things happen, people cry out to God with questions. Just look at 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina. Both were travesties in their own respects. Mine is just the fact that I have no kidneys. But in any case, God seems to use those events to bring the focus back on Himself. So when I get discouraged about the monotony of my life right now, I can be thankful that God chose to USE me.

So what am I saying in this entry? Well I hope it is an encouragement. Sometimes we don’t know why God feels distant or why it seems as though He isn’t listening. Well I would venture to say that maybe it isn’t the right time yet. Or maybe God is trying to help you regain your focus on Him and who He is. Or just maybe God is giving you a much-needed Rest.

There is a funny thing that has been happening lately. Every week I make it up to Biola to see my girlfriend, sister, and maybe some friends. While I am up there I always tend to run into someone that I haven't seen in a long time. They have generally heard of what has happened and about 90% of them come up to me with a shocked look on their faces. This is kind of peculiar to me until I realize that the reason they are so shocked to see me is, oh yeah, I don't have any kidneys!! They are also shocked to see me because they imagine that with my condition I should be in bed not doing anything with a little bell at my bedside. So then I began into a practically memorized story of what has been going on, the praises and the hopes... It has sadly almost become monotonous.
Early yesterday morning my girlfriend Amy and I were talking about this. She asked me how I was doing and I began to go into my story. Quickly, however, she stopped me and said, "No Nate, how are YOU doing?" So this got me thinking. How am I really doing?
I honestly don't know. I don't think I realize the reality of everything. Yes it is hard, yes it is boring, and yes I can't wait to have a transplant. But those realities are that if I don't go to dialysis four times a week, I could be damaging myself; if I don't take it easy and wait for the doctors orders, I could be damaging myself; and if I don't trust God knowing that He is in control of everything, I could be damaging myself.
My biggest prayer request this week is that I will be able to introspectively look into myself and really know how I am doing.

Thank you all for everything!!!